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Whose Life is it Anyway?

January 29th, 2011 (08:05 pm)
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Wow! This is my first update in *goes back through her journal* a very long time. Things have been, by turn, boring, sadenning, frustrating, and crazy. This is mainly for me, as I doubt if anybody in the great world of cyberspace is interested, but it might be fun to go back in a year and see what I was thinking on January 29, 2011. As a random note, I just realized, today is my half-birthday plus one (January 28 is my half-birthday). So, forgive me for rambling, it's going to happen.

I started working at the local Kroger's exactly six months today. I really like it. I have met and made friends with a lot of people my own age, which was tragically missing from my life since I moved down here. There are some negative aspects to it (here's looking at you, bitchy coworker that makes everything about you and broadcasts your entire personal life to everyone that comes through the doors), but over all, it is a really good job. As much as I love working the registers, I did apply for a full-time night job. I debated about it for a long time, but finally put my name down for it. If I get it, it will be significantly more hours, night premium (an extra 60 cents/hour), and insurance against the fluctuations of the seasons. The shelves will always need to be stocked, the trucks will always need to be unloaded, and items will always need to be reordered. All of this translates to significantly more money, which will definitely help. It will mean leaving my friends up front and going to a solitary shift, which will suck. I decided to apply for it, if I get it, great, if not, I won't be upset.

Working so much has left me with very little personal time, so I'm not home very much, a fact that I think makes my grandma a little irritated/jealous/lonely, so I try to spend as much time with her as I can. Between her and the store, I don't have time to go out and do all the things a 22 year old is supposed to do. I've never been to a bar (not that that's too much of a sacrifice, but you know...), I don't go to parties or concerts or anything like that, and I don't date. That last one is the one that really gets to me. I've been quite lonely for a long time. I finally came out to most of my family, some of the aunts and uncles still don't know, but my siblings, parents, and grandma all do. I haven't dated in about 3 years, partly because I was not out, but mainly because I have a hard time meeting people. It has gotten to the point where I have registered at several of those eharmony type sites, but I am hindered by the fact that I lack the exorbitant amounts of money they require.

A few months ago, a really good friend of mine thought we had something. She's engaged and living with her fiancee, but she was really unhappy and thinking about leaving him. As much as I hated the thought that I was a homewrecker, I have to admit, the thought of her being available to explore what might or might not be there between us was alluring. She did break up with him, but they got back together almost immediately. I hesitate to say anything more about the situation, because I don't want to cause hurt feelings between any parties involved. It's just a rough situation all around.

My creative life has also been interesting. I have jumped on the bandwagon and gotten hooked on "Glee", and therefore, I have started RPing about it. I joined a board, adopted a couple of characters, the whole thing. Then, my muse decided to take off for warmer climates. I haven't been able to write a single thing for a single fandom for months. It's truly frustrating. I think the last Whose Line related drabble I wrote was over a year ago, two Halloweens ago, I think. And that is sad. In high school and college, I could (and did!) write for hours without any problem. One time, a friend and I wrote for 28 hours straight. It was insane. Now I can't even write a drabble. Alas.

After I started working, I signed up for satellite internet and tv, so we got more than dial-up internet and public television, so that's exciting. A lot has opened up because of that (expensive) decision. It has helped my grandma, too. She likes to watch news and such when I'm at work and she's too sick to be up and about and has to lay on the couch to rest. She has also discovered facebook, so that's a little awkward. I have to watch what I say, or hide stuff from her, but she enjoys it, so I can't complain too much.

I recently qualified for the company insurance, so I got signed up for that. It won't take effect until February, but once I get it going, I'm going to get a long overdue eye exam, probably get contacts in addition to my glasses, go to the dentist, probably get my wisdom teeth out (I've already had one come through, and the other three are trying to come...Ouch!), and at least one cavity filled. Also, I hope to find a new doctor to get anti-depressants. Maybe, and here's a thought!, one that actually cares about the patients, knows what the hell he or she is doing, and can keep track of charts and prescriptions. Maybe that is asking too much...

I guess that's pretty much my life in a blog post. Over all, I'm having a better time of it than I have in a long time. There are still negative aspects to it, but whose life doesn't?